Kintsugi of Sorts
When people want to give me things, I say no thanks
I can handle nor the toll, nor the returns
Instead I say here you go, you take this instead
Forever in deficit, but I’ll never be in debt
Little sister hollers in delight when she sees me
My people, they tell me they love me from time to time
Skipped record, I swerve over that sentiment
Why can’t I have that same enthusiasm for people
I have to talk slow, keep those currents pulled inward
Because my voice it always totters toward the end
White-knuckle, flinch/flinch, need it kept at bay
Or else I’ll signal failure like a Doppler effect
Draw nearer and it sounds shriller, distorted
But from afar, my cracks are dusted golden and they gleam
Magazine says they want to publish my words
Fellow artist tells me I am gifted
And I think they must not have any good taste
They must not have heard the waves
I should be a vacuum, charcoal and void-hollow
So that my soul-draining ways be at least justified
A. Martine is a trilingual writer, musician and artist of color who goes where the waves take her. She’s an Assistant Editor at Reckoning Press and a Managing Editor and Podcast Producer of The Nasiona. Her collection AT SEA was shortlisted for the 2019 Kingdoms in the Wild Poetry Prize. Some words found or forthcoming in: Berfrois, Déraciné, The Rumpus, Bright Wall/Dark Room, Metaphorosis, Gone Lawn, Ghost City Review, Rogue Agent, Boston Accent Lit, Anti-Heroin Chic, Figure 1. @Maelllstrom/www.maelllstrom.com
