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Diary

Bennie Rosa

By December 1st, 2020 No Comments

Self-Portrait in Scars

It’s 5:00 PM in my last daydream of the day, and I wish to hell it would never end. A revulsion has taken over and it’s all I can do to not vomit my contempt of the idiots in charge. When egos take over and the welfare of society takes not second place but last place, we cannot let it continue. I look in the mirror to paint my last self-portrait.

There is, in a scar, a memory of an event. It is a reminder that you did something, perhaps not your own fault, but there it is. It’s always there. My face looks back at me and it is sadly unrecognizable. The shame is there, scars of feelings that will never disappear. It’s me and it’s not and that is a terrible feeling.

I remember when I was a kid. Kids rarely look in mirrors because it’s not important to them. They simple want to do things, anything. I regret old age as if it is something I could have changed long ago. It isn’t, but then I think again and I realize I could have.

Climb up

Reach back into yesterday

Crack open the dawn

Launch rockets to forever

Level the ground

Walk the intrepid roads

Salute those who came before you

Initiate joy

Crystalize the soul

Forever smile

Illuminate in reflections

Demand the goodness

In others

Accent the emphasis

Emphasize your despair

As drama in recompense

The average is

The multiple good

Overlook the pain

By joy in your face

Ignore the scars

Use your advantage

Treasure every moment

Give everything to

Every person you

See.

 

 

 

 

Bennie lives in New Mexico where the sun gives its nourishment to everyone almost every day. His work will be appearing in an upcoming Grey Borders Anthology entitled Daddy: A Cultural Anthology and has recently been published in New World Writing.