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Poetry

Alex Carrigan

By December 5th, 2022No Comments

Aquaria Hits Shuffle on Her iPod Nano When the Molly Hits

It’s fashion o’clock again…
Does anyone… still turn… a look???
The devil wears Prada…
so the bride of Chucky wore Miu Miu.

Currently in my Maddie Ziegler era.
Pose!! Get done up! Bring a little drama!
Call me, beep me, etc.

Imagine you came to my Xmas show
and all that I performed was
SOPHIE, Rina Sawayama, Kim Petras,
Bree Runway, and Tchaikovsky…. 
and I made it make sense??

It’s a major upgrade from applauding
normality and mediocrity!
Give a lil’ something-something in the new year.
Next week better be kooky!!!

Where would Manhattan nightlife be
in this day and age without
The Magician Remix of Lykke Li’s ‘I Follow Rivers’…
not sure it would still be standing!
No one writes music like this anymore and it’s so sad. 
What a bop.

Praying for minimal discourse following
this upcoming Sunday’s Grammy’s.
There better be big fights!!!
I need martial arts shows!!!!

Eep, I take it back
They really killed Daft Punk, huh.
Is there a Daft Punk
summoning circle thingy
I can retweet?
Any takers???


Source: @aquariaofficial

 

Bosco Tightens Her Corset for the Buffet

The things I do to make twelve year olds
stop calling me poor on the internet.
OH SO WE HAVE JOKES.
We are choosing violence today, I see.

Which one of you gays
is in charge of this account????
Bury that whore then.
I am literally demanding
capital punishment for you.

To the tune of “Creep” by Radiohead:

It had to be said:
THIS LOOK RULES.
Literally invented rhinestones.
THEY LOOK SO GOOD ON YOU.

Oh we felt like pressing
the slay button tonight.

I am here representing the
demographic of slutty bullies,
I regret nothing, and I would do it all again.
I’m a loser! I’m incredibly loose.

I’m glad we are both members of
the “skinny bitches with cute dumpers “club.
The only thing missing was estrogen tbh.
Just kidding they are sold out

This has been a magical day.
Maybe March is for women



Source: @hereisbosco

 

Jujubee Writes a Book to Read on the Toilet

I keep reminding myself that this journey
is so special and it’s uniquely mine,
just like yours is yours.

I’m aging myself and not even mad about it!!!
Spilling the beans, because I’m old.
Gorgeous and old!
HEAD TO TOE BEAUTIFUL!!!

Great auntie in the streets…
daddy in the sheets.

It has to be 1,000+ thread count sheets, though.
My skin is sensitive.

We’ve got dinner plans Tuesday!!!
Having a salad topped with sausage roll “croutons.”
So excited!!!

It’s going to be filled with trauma.

The peaks and valleys of life are
the best reminders that we own nothing.
Let’s make the best of what we are given.

Keep moving.
Be light.
Be LOVE.

THIS IS HOW THE BEST LEMONADE IS MADE!!!

I can’t wait to have supper with you…
but only if you wear a tracksuit.

Source: @jujuboston

 

Mo Heart Sets the Pulpit Alight With Just Her Voice

Hello world, hello America,
happy Sunday.
Say it back.

Y’all remember 2020,
like what were we DOIN?

This is a PSA:
we are not putting any negativity in the world,
and we are here for you too love.

If there were two line items on
this “gay agenda,”
what would they be?
Alexa, play “Bang Bang.”
BOUNCE FOR THE KINGDOM.

Bringing some drama
to iCarly season 2.
The fairy godmother…
would make an iconic guest.
Don’t you just love how straight people
watch queer culture like a hawk and just steal?
I can’t with y’all, lmaooo.

Whose closet should we walk out of next?
Come through king!!!!
If you stay yassified,
you don’t have to get yassified.

Source: @IAmMoniqueHeart

 

Shea Couleé Armors Up for Her Next Slaying

I love how in thirty seconds on this app,
I can be incredibly informed,
incredibly entertained,
and incredibly confused.

Some of y’all mf’s are too damn smart
on this bird app.
I need a dictionary and thesaurus
just to understand some of y’all’s tweets.

Like, I had to look up “neologism”
on a Saturday morning.
I don’t even know what’s real anymore.
Everything’s cake…

I’m tickled when queens who I KNOW
have auditioned for RPDR several times
make a point to publicly let everyone
know that they don’t watch the show.
The girls really be going for it at the brunch gigs…

And I say this as someone who had to
audition FIVE times to get cast.
There is nothing wrong with rejection.

Success requires determination.
Making your dreams come true
doesn’t happen overnight.
It takes hard work,
so roll up them sleeves, gal, and get to it!

You betta let them know, Jackée!!!

Damn, bitch. What a week.
Worked really hard.
But I’m so grateful that I get to wake up
every day and do what I love.
Now let’s get brunch…

Source: @SheaCoulee

 

These five poems are all created using tweets found on the official Twitter accounts of five famous drag queens.

 

 

 

 

Alex Carrigan is an editor, poet, and critic from Alexandria, Virginia. He is the author of May All Our Pain Be Champagne: A Collection of Real Housewives Twitter Poetry (Alien Buddha Press, 2022). He has been published in Quail Bell Magazine, Lambda Literary Review, Empty Mirror, Quarterly West, Stories About Penises (Guts Publishing, 2019), Closet Cases: Queers on What We Wear (Et Alia Press, 2020), and more. He is also the co-editor of Please Welcome to the Stage…: A Drag Literary Anthology with House of Lobsters Literary.

Twitter: @carriganak